Two years ago, a friend of mine suggested I try the world of online dating. I wasn't opposed to idea and knew it was going to be a learning experience. I hadn't dated for a long time prior to that point and knew there were going to be some ups and downs.
Like regular dating, online dating consists of a lot of first dates and trying to see which one makes the best connection. Finding someone through an online search is a much different process but the concepts for a first date are essentially the same. You still have to try and make a connection with the person and make a good first impression.
Below are some tips you can use when going out with someone for the first time:
1) The Small Favors Can Go a Long Way - Being polite to the server (if at a restaurant), opening doors, and showing an interest in the person (more on this later) can really go a long way on a first date. On a personal note, I was usually turned off whenever a date was rude to the server or didn't take the time to show much of an interest in me. In one particular instance, I had a date who constantly said rude things to the server and didn't show much of an interest in me the entire dinner. As a result, it came across to me like she really wasn't interested in me and her poor manners towards the server were really a turn off. If someone is taking time out of his or her day to meet with you and go out on a date, minding your manners can make a huge difference.
2) Take the Time to Listen and Learn About the Other Person - It's okay to be a little nervous but don't let it effect your listening skills or taking time to learn about the other person. If you show and interest and listen, it will make for a much better conversation. You may not always have a connection with the person but you won't help yourself if you are constantly babbling about yourself or random things. I always found it easier to find things to talk about if I listened to the other person rather than giving someone my own verbal autobiography. I can recall one instance in which my date constantly babbled about random items and didn't take any time to get to know me as a person. It made it difficult to have a conversation after a while and it came across at times that this girl was more interested in talking about herself rather than getting to know who I was as a person.
3) Try and Pick a Place Comfortable for Both of You - You don't necessarily have to go all out and to the most expensive place in town for your first date. Keeping it simple helps at first and keep in mind that while you may be able to converse with someone through e-mails and text messages, you may not have a connection in person. Something simple like a coffee shop or going out for drinks is a nice casual way of setting up a first date. Going out to dinner works as well but can be a lot of money down the tubes if the date is a bust and things don't pan out. Try and pick something that will be comfortable for you and your date and go from there.
4) If Things Don't Work Out, Be Respectful to the Other Person - It is hard when you have a bad evening on a date or something doesn't work out with the other person. Sometimes it is hard to take and you may feel like you wasted your time but learn from the experience as much as you can. You may not feel a connection with the other person or the other person may not feel much of a connection with you. It is hard at times to get rejected like that but avoid being rude to the person or doing something that could hurt his or her feelings. A situation where there is no connection or a rough date can be hard to take but going out of your way to embarrass the other person won't help the situation. Keep in mind that you probably wouldn't want someone to go out of his or her way to embarrass you after a bad date.
5) Learn What You Can From Each Date - Not every date will work out but keep in mind what you can learn from each opportunity. The more you date, the easier it will be and learn from each experience as much as you can. It will help you learn how to develop a relationship with the person you want to keep seeing and help you soar from there.
